Monday, March 31, 2008

Of Blending in and forgetting myself.

Let's just treat me an individual as a ping-pong ball and the society as the sea. Whenever the wave pushes me left I go left, when it pushes me right, I go right. This is how I have been living. People say that I "tiada pendirian" (meaning I don't have my own stand) for just going with the flow. Yet how could I anchor myself on this vast sea called society and if I could, what would prevent me a mere ping pong ball from sinking into the deep abyss of the sea.

For any attempts to go against the flow there is an equal amount of negative feed backs. A very fine example of these are :

"Walau like that also don't dare ar...So kia si"


"Do like that for what? You think people will notice you?"


"Come on la brother what are you thinking? "

and even

"Why today you act so weird one?"

And if you continue doing so you'll get nicknames from people like "penakut" , "mei you zhong", "ball-less" and so forth. Come to think of it, people had been going with the flow since who knows when. For every era, there will be a particular type of fashion sense, taste and ambition. If you don't call this going with the flow, then what do you think that is called? Naive or dumb?

And the ability to be able to blend oneself into society is by forgetting oneself. Only by doing so can one merge with the society. If you ask me whether blending in is important, well I think it is.
When you blend in with society, you'll be able to learn more about people, life and experience it first hand. When you finally what going with the flow taste like, then only can one learn more about oneself as an unique individual.

As a guy once said " To be able to get over one thing is to be able to go through the entire phase, and fully experience how it feels like." and yes, be it pain, love, hatred, sorrow and even joy. Go through it all then detached yourselves from it. When it comes back again, go through it all over again. It's the same as going with the flow. Go with it for awhile, be engrossed, be totally absorbed by it. Then almost unknowingly, slip out of it. Soon the trend will lose it's value of attractiveness. So when the next, and the next and the next wave comes, do the same thing and you'll soon find yourself learning more and more about this place we live in ; this place we call Earth.

& I float uncertainly like the ping pong ball...

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Another day!

The week has ended again. Though my life doesn't seem to come to an abrupt halt. And tomorrow morning, life's gonna continue as usual with 4 hours of tuition right after I wake up. Some fella told me to sleep less and live life to the fullest because we get to sleep all we want when we die (and it doesn't mean that we can wake up even if we want to). Not a bad advice eh, I guess I might just have to assimilate it into my life.

Lets talk about today!

My dream which I could vividly remember, ended intantly. Though I had already turn my phone into silent mode, the over familiar vibration from my phone just seemed to resonate with my half awake self. Reluctantly I picked up my phone.

"Huh Kim?"

(picks up phone)

“Eh Yee Siang are you coming to school later?"
"No... why?"
"Oh can you come because we not enough people for perbarisan"
"Oh... mmmmkayz. "
"Thank you le.."

(hangs up)
(phone rings again)

"Eh yee siang you have to come like now."
"Urh I know, I'm going to take a bath first."

(hangs up)

After preparing, I went to school. I guess I was still half asleep when I reached school. It sure does take time to wake up.. Little did I expect Sir Tan to be there when I arrived.What a suprise it was. The Scout-lings were taking their Usaha badge.And well they got the badge without doing the log book. Instead they only had to recite the "Kesetiaan Pengakap" and " Undang-undang pengakap".. they did knotes next. It was rather fun to see them do it. And then there was kim with her numbers in various language for counting down.

A bit later, the teacher called and we were to stand under the hot sun in our respective Uniform group to respect the person who came and "merasmikan" the majlis. I went home straight after that. His speech was like so monotonous, it'd be better I just read it off the paper he was holding myself.

Anyway the rest of the day was pretty much the same..

English tuition then followed by Ms. Lim's lesson
Which gives a total of 5 hours of lesson time..
Ain't it great to have time well spent?

So concludes the day of Yee Siang..

& life continues..

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Altering between past, present and future

The world we are living in now is not of the present. For most of us, we are living either in the past or the future. Confused? Allow me to elaborate more. There are those people who just can't seem to forget how heart broken they were when they broke up. They try to move on and yet they are trap in yesterday's shadow. Trap in a dark vortex of yesterday, they are oblivious toward their surroundings and neglecting those who care about them. And this type of people is the past people.

Following these people are the future people. They are forever saying "for the future", "we'll see in future", "see first" and etc. These people are also those who neglect those around them. Not only are they able to move on faster than any one should, but they are also forgetting the past faster then they should ever. Caught in their never ending RAT and PAPER chase, they just move on further and further away for those who care about them. Well future people, SA-YO-NA-RA~~~ See you in the future!!

If you ask me which one am I classified as well I am an ALTER-NER! Why well because I'm living in the future, past and present. well not to say I'm living in all three at once but always changing between them. Yet I still don't understand why I'm more afraid of the future then the present and the past? Am I too a past person? I really don't understand. To think I'd never ask myself about whether I am really an ALTER-NER. Or am I just a simple HAS BEEN...

& my quest to search for myself begins

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

when the sun sets.

When the sun sets,
I know that the day is almost ending.
"What have I done today?"
I ask myself.
But hardly have I answered
"I have done the best I could ever have!"

When the moon finally rises,
how can I stand up tall and proud
saying that I'd given my 100%?

I believe I could reach new heights if I set myself to.
But until now, I don't seem to remember myself doing it.
No, I should say never had never make myself do it.
How can I spell determination when it always deter?

Time and tide waits for no man,
With time even great mountain crumbles,
And great king falls.
Could I finally make a choice to change this life forever?
This I could not answer.
Only time could tell.

Before the moon fades away tonight,
I must make this change,
this choice,
this decision.

And when the sun finally sets tomorrow,
I could stand up tall and proud,
Saying I had done my best today...

An entry written in the form of poetry...

& the moon illuminated the dark night.

Friday, March 21, 2008

A blog for stories

Yay i just made a blog for writing stories... To those writers out there plz feel free to donate me more stories..

And to those who don't really want to write plz just visit and make it a more lively place ok?

Thank you very much...

And the place to go is

that's all later...

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Do re mi....

Do re mi fa so la ti do....

Does this sound familiar? Well of course we have been hearing this since we are still toddlers.. And yet now when I'm so much older, I'm beginning to see these 8 notes in a very different way... I learned these 8 notes in piano where Do is C, Re is D, Mi is E and so forth.. And now instead of learning them with an instrument, I'm back to square one, where I am back to learning it vocally.

And yet the ability to master it vocally differs from mastering it with an instrument. With an instrument you can go beyond the middle group, which means you can reach the higher and lower groups of notes. But that's not possible in singing. For you see every body's vocal range differs. Hence, the many different types of singers are born. We have the opera singers, R & B singers, Soul singers, rock and roll singers.... And there are even those who are able to master and grasp all types of singing style due to their wide vocal range..

Well as for me I'm still finding my vocal range. But until now, I haven't been able to hit a high note well. With some practice i might be able to it, I hope.....But mastering isn't an easy thing, you have to put in a lot of sweat and blood and most importantly time. It's amusing how something we thought we knew could turn out to be something we know nothing of at all..Look like I still have a long way to go and a lot of things to learn in this life..

& life is a longer journey than I'd ever expected

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Tagged and untagged

Instructions: Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag a few people in your list.

1. Who is your all-time inspiration?
An inspiring person (naturally)....

2. Have you given your first kiss away?

3. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you? Why?
blog buddies? can't think of anybut if i need to bring 3 people i would bring

a) carpenter/blacksmith (handyman)
b) medic (in herbal field)
C) a scientist
with them i won't have to be on the island but i can be with my real friends...
nice ain't it...

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
cameron highlands or anywhere cool not freezing

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
Have the ability to bend time and space (which includes stopping time and going anywhere in a blink of an eye and stuff u can do when u bend time and space)

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
If there is sunlight yes...
Rainbow is formed due to the dispersion of light when it hits a rain drop..Seriously duhz....

7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
I'm afraid to lose myself...

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
I would put some in the bank and share a portion with my parents...

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Not until I've figure her and understand her more and understand how i really feel towards her..
For me I'd never let history repet itself...
Die history die... hahaha

10.List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
*Good anime/manga introducer
*Good criticiser (makes me aware, motivativated and makes me pissed off Xp )
*Can be asked to do some stuff

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
The other half should be able to fit the half that is me...
I don't wanna elaborate more haha...
I don't want people to change just to fit me... Xp

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
A Backstabber...

13. What is your ambition?
Pharmacist/lecturer (any one)

14. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Intellegence,abilty to socialise and MONEY!

16. Are you a shopaholic or not?

17. Find a word to describe the person who tagged you.
Ikky- critical criticiser

18. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
Take away my lazy bone...

19. Whats the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?
The last shocking thing i saw
was this [Whats the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?]
shocking ain't it...

20.Do you have any friend you can depend on every time you need a someone to talk to?
friends nope but family yes!

me tag:

Sunday, March 16, 2008

of punctuality and things upkept

I bet almost everyone here in Malaysia (mostly to those Chinese) have or had attended wedding dinners before. Yet the first thing that struck me whenever I hear the word wedding dinner is an eminently long wait. In my opinion, attending wedding dinner is a very good way to test your patience as you have to endure a very lacklustre dinner/lunch which ever it may/might be.

And yet the reason for any of those lacklustre wedding lunch/dinner is the same. When I mean the same I mean the same for almost all of the Chinese wedding lunch/dinner I've ever attended in my life.
My parents always talk to me about punctuality and how it is a noble virtue that I as a Chinese should always keep, practice and remember. (other than being filial of course).

Yet I wonder why do all those wedding lunch/dinner commence 1-2 and sometimes to the extent of 3 hours later than the time arranged? Obviously I don't know why some people can be that inconsiderate. Yet it has always been such. I'd rarely seen people late for their date or meetings but why are they always late for wedding lunch/dinners?

Another thing that sticks to a bad wedding dinner like a sore thumb are the peeps who can't keep their so called "melodious" vibrations from their vocal chords to themselves.. And boy what a din they make. And I can tell you the songs they sing/sang can easily reach above 72 decibels. If you don't know any noise higher than 72 decibels is considered noise pollution. So next time you attend a wedding dinner make sure you bring some ear plugs if you know they are people who are going to sing. Maybe there might be a few good one but the chances are as good as finding a needle in a hay stack. But many are already prone to noise pollution so I guess it's not a really big factor to them.

And that's the end of that.

Now for something more my style.

I've experience, hear, see , wtv many weird things but it was the first time I heard about it and it was yesterday. A guy actually flashed at my friend over the web cam after she rejected him. Ok the guy on his web cam before she rejected him and after the rejection he flashed... damn what is the world turning to.

I mean guys becoming emo after rejection is normal but a flasher after rejection... something like that ain't right. And obviously this is like giving decent guys like me a bad name.... Xp Xp..... This is a shout out to all guys out there "never become a freaking sex maniac or a flasher just because you got rejected, things like this is never right"

This clearly shows teenagers today are over exposed to rated films. Furthermore these rated films are easily accessible. With films like this easily available, no wonder rape crime are on the rise.

And the world is turning to a place I never knew existed.

Screw it.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

& so it begins

So ok, tomorrow is the first day of the holidays, but then again so what?
Or to be more exact tomorrow isn't the first day anymore because this entry has been unposted for da last 2 days...
Xp.. lazy me

Been under a lot of some what Gi-normous burden lately..

First there's those damn results..
Second are those over competitive friends (results wise)
Third are those people who study their butt off..
Fourth are those who study like hell and trick others to believe they are not studying...
Last but not least my freaking big lazy bone....

Well just my luck i guess...
Screw it...
Xp Xp Xp

Oh well life's been let me just describe it as rough arond the edges..
Actually it had always been such..
Well i guess just live with it den...
"Taking yesterday's wind and turn it into today's storm" end quote (or something to that effect... quoted from a wise
Well world prepare to be blown away...

Something really struck me lately.
Why are there so many emo people nowadays...
seriously emo is just elmo who lost his l....

Bah... serious lame-ness..
Seriously this entry has become some what random (pratically I'm doing this in three days so you get the picture.)

Now to something more recent.

Recently, there had been so many recent events that I can't really figure out when the most recent recently is.
But as Ikky used to say " Cut the CRAP"
So i might actually take his advice.

Tomorrow is Wed and the guys & gals (from my class) are going to cs to celebrate Yam Nee and Wei Hong's birthday.
Guess what?
I'm so not going to be there..
I mean with all da burden chaining me down, who's gonna come and release them?
And one more thing if I go there I've to like make another freaking entry for the class blog...
BAH it !
Anyway it's up to ikky now.. lol... good luck dude you need it.
Other than that, I have to be working hard for my upcoming singing exam, or test to be more exact..
Ok ok got to practice.... la~ La~ lA~ LA~ LA!~
NOt now i'm still writing my entry...
Damn it... =.=!!

I know I'm still delaying stuff..
Better get cracking..
Screw it...
Or as the Scrooge will say,

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Three letters, one sound. " B A H ! "

It's the 1st term break for one week.
Some people say it's time to kick back and relax.
Well bah to you!
As if I've got any time to rest..
Well let me tell you what's lined up for me this holidays.

1) Holiday homework
2) Tuition homework
3) Catch up with what I'd missed
4) Finish the final class blog entry
5) Practice piano like mad man!
6) Shout BAH when every thing's done.

Well isn't that a handful?
The only good thing about this holiday is more time to sleep.
Well anyways tomorrow is the first day and I'd already gotten my hands full..
And honestly I don't want to think about tomorrow if I can.
A mere 76 in sej is enough to get my head chopped off...
Damn you, you freaking essay!!
I have to face the music anyways..
Well it's now or never then..

Oh and my overall results are already hitting the bedrock.
Screw em results..
And some people just know how to rub it all in your face..
&Rubbing salt to the wound...
&Adding oil to a towering flame..
&Pushing the thorn in your flesh deeper in...

(urgh... seriously I need brushing up my vocabulary... I mean come on people with my writing skill should be able to produce something better.. what the hell's wrong with me?)

Anyways you should just let me be..
Me and my solitary life..
And what's with that wave of shitting atmosphere...
Ah damn it..
How I wish it would rain..
No damn it..
So that i could sleep longer..

"Damn it all" end quote.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

"Blank as an empty space" end quote

It's been a hellofa week if you ask me.
'Em monthly tests are just over and I'm suppose to be rejoicing?
Freaking NO! To think how much homework I'd left undone just to do my revision..
"Teenage boy gets bombarded by accumulating work" end quote.

As I was saying there is just an undying amount of work.
One particular work is already enough to sap my entire existence out of me.
That particular work is non other than another EST essay..
Freaking hell it's a compulsory subject to take in my school and not in other school.
How can they claim it is an easy 'A' subject when you need 7 elaborations for just one single point?
I might be widely read but I'm one super bad reproducer.
Jeez..I think it's time this old dog learn some new tricks.

Well anyway that's that..
It's been another early waking Sunday.
I mean I have to wake up early for tuition and Saturday is perhaps the only day i can have a longer sleep [currently cuz extra class is gonna start real soon]
I just have to strengthen my resolve and try to overcome my bad habits..
Even my mum complains i sleep too much.
Other than that, my other resolutions need strengthening too..
Jeez what a pain...

Well anyways just did another picture.
and here it is

Now all i need is someone to help me colour it..
With photoshop i mean..
Well anyway it's just hellish for some people to just drop by and criticize my work.
So for those who just love to do that screw you..

"& life continues"
End quote.